"Blast" from the Past: Kyle Farnsworth Still Up to His Old Tricks

Bucky "f#@king" Dent was given a new middle name by Red Sox supporters after his 1978 home run in Fenway Park. It stuck with him for decades into the future.

Kyle Farnsworth earned that same middle name from Yankee fans as a result of his unreliable and putrid relief efforts.

Well, Kyle "f#@king" Farnsworth was busy introducing himself to a new set of uneasy fans on Tuesday afternoon. This time he was wearing a brand new Royals uniform.

In the eighth inning, Farnsworth was brought in to preserve a slim 2-to-1 Royals lead over the offensively inconsistent Chicago White Sox.

As if still traumatized by his years spent heckled in the Bronx, he began 2009 the way he seemed to end every game of years past...

Defeated, and with his tail tucked firmly between his legs.

Farnsworth gave up four hits including a back-breaking three-run homer off the bat of White Sox DH Jim Thome. The pitch all but sealed the Royals fate as Opening Day losers.

Perhaps the most memorable moment of Farnsworth’s turbulent baseball career involved his apparent skills on the football gridiron.

Farnsworth twice tackled pitchers to the ground with absolutely perfect NFL form, leaving Paul Wilson and Jeremy Affeldt asking, “Did anyone get the license plate number of that truck?”

He may have had a more successful future playing linebacker than he has amassed thus far in Major League Baseball.

Farnsworth has simply been unable to harness the 100 MPH fastball and biting slider that still makes 25 general managers drool across the league.

The other five have employed Farnsworth in their bullpen, and are well versed in the ulcer-causing nature of his pitching prowess.

Many supporters of the Chicago Cubs hoped that Farnsworth could become as electric as Rob Dibble once was for their division rival Cincinnati Reds.

With a career 4.47 ERA and 30-48 record, Farnsworth instead reminds fans of Billy Koch. He represents just another flamethrower that never learned how to pitch.

Upon his departure from the Bronx in a trade for catcher Ivan Rodriguez, Farnsworth surprisingly wept tears and seemed crushed by the decision.

For the first time in my life, I felt genuine sympathy for the man that is responsible for my current blood pressure medication.

Perhaps he truly believed he belonged on the big stage. Perhaps he envisioned one dominant October revitalizing his career and earning him the respect he always clawed for.

That day will likely never come for the underachieving Farnsworth.

It is only a matter of time before the Royals realize that cutting his salary from the payroll is more valuable than his innings on the mound.

Teams like Tampa Bay may be calling for his services to attempt to plug another veteran into a budding bullpen.

Unfortunately for him, it appears that you truly can’t teach an old dog new tricks.

At almost 33 years of age, Farnsworth can still throw a baseball through a brick wall. However, he still can’t throw one to a catcher’s glove on the outside corner.

Baseball’s Bigger Problem NOT Rooted in NY

The Yankees won another game of Monopoly this offseason, signing Mark Teixeira, CC Sabathia, AJ Burnett, and Andy Pettitte to upwards of $71.5 million for 2009. The Yankees did pass GO; the Yankees did collect 200 (million) dollars in payroll and luxury tax penalties for 2009.

Brian Cashman and the Steinbrenner brothers bought up Park Place and Broadway (which ironically surround the ‘luxury tax’ space on the monopoly board), and are now able to sit back and collect a bounty of countless millions in profit.

This expression of power and wealth has predictably formed a tidal wave of anger and frustration among every other ownership group in baseball. Some are even calling for at least a soft salary cap.

I will make it perfectly clear that I completely agree that the Yankees throwing around dollar bills like a drunken sailor at a strip club is ludicrous. However, they do not represent the true problem within Major League Baseball.

The “small market” teams across the league have been pocketing the Yankees and Red Sox’s millions for many years, beginning with the implementation of revenue sharing and luxury tax programs.

Small market teams have also greatly benefited from the Yankees’ shared memorabilia sales, as well as extreme increases in attendance during Yankees’ road trips.

Intended to help level the playing field, and allow teams to sign and keep their young talent, these programs have been exploited by certain owners to fatten their own wallets.

A perfect example is a team like the Minnesota Twins, who were previously run by Carl Pohlad (RIP). This was a man whose net worth was 2.5 times larger than George Steinbrenner’s.

Instead of using this wealth to his advantage, Pohlad refused to open his wallet. He instead elected to allow key players to walk in free agency, or to be traded for a bevy of prospects.

He also ignored the team’s needs in years when ONE key addition could have made the difference in achieving a World Series Championship.

Another small market team, the Florida Marlins, put most of their roster on sale in the last six months. They deport their established young talent like immigrants with expired green cards, depending on other team’s prospects to become stars for them. At which point, they will simply perpetuate the cycle instead of locking these players up long-term.

The Kansas City Royals, Tampa Bay Rays, and Washington Nationals are proving to be the exceptions to the problem, and are showing that the programs can work if teams use them correctly.

Although not monumental signings, the Royals did spend almost $65 million for Gil Meche and Kyle Farnsworth in free agency over the last year, making clear efforts to improve. They went on to recently extend Zach Greinke, a rising young star in their rotation, to a four-year contract worth $38 million.

The Rays were able to lock up Evan Longoria to a long-term deal, and inked World Series adversary Pat Burrell to a two-year deal. Before signing Burrell, they entertained adding veteran Jason Giambi to their youthful lineup. Tampa also showed a commitment to making a significant playoff run by adding payroll at the deadline last season.

Finally, the Nationals put together a monstrous package for Teixeira’s services that would have paid an annual salary equal to nearly half of their total payroll from 2008. Although clearly aided by a new ballpark, the programs also assisted these plans.

We all know that the Yankees are in their own financial universe, and rival fans love to refer to them as the ‘Evil Empire.’ They could make Bill Gates feel broke.

The issue here is that the Yankees are being blamed for a perceived lack of parity that does not exist.

There have been 7 different champions in the 8 seasons since the Yankees last title. The Astros, Rays, Marlins, Rockies, and Diamondbacks have made the World Series during this span. All of these teams are considered in the lower tier of MLB budgets.

A ‘hard’ salary cap will never get past the player’s association, so you are better off saving your prayers for a playoff system in college football. The extra draft picks and revenues passed down from big to small market teams are the key to creating parity in today’s game.

Run your team correctly, and you will reach the top of your sport. Spend the filtered down money you never even earned, and keep your young stars. Accept that you aren’t the Yankees…but maybe, just maybe…you can become the Rays one day.